Becky

Last night I found myself thinking about Becky. She was a good friend of mine from church as I was growing up in Doylestown. She was happy and kind and so sweet. I hardly have a memory of her where she wasn't happy, or trying to help someone else. When I last saw her, she was thin - emaciated. Her hair was gone and her lips were chapped. She was in pain. She cried. I cried, too. She kept pushing this silly button that kept beeping at her, telling her that something was wrong. Something was very wrong. She wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to be away from her two little boys. She wasn't supposed to not be pregnant anymore. Why was she wearing that gown that ties in the back when she used to dress so cute? She was finally getting her baby girl. Just like me. We were both going to have two boys and a new baby girl. But, there were complications. Invasive, horrible, sickly, cancer complications.

I rubbed her feet. I wonder now if it hurt her at all? I wanted so badly to somehow show her how much it hurt to see her in so much pain. How my heart broke for her. I hold my beautiful little girl and I think of Becky. I think of her Mom and how she must have felt, watching her only daughter die. I think of how Becky would have held her little baby girl, if leukemia wouldn't have taken her away. Both of them.

I'm praying for you Nannette. I'm sure you think of her everyday. I'm thinking of her, too.